Their discomfort is real! Thus they avoid and will frequently choose to isolate themselves from others, desiring to avoid family functions, “family time” or parent-child conversations, especially when the reward isn’t greater than the discomfort. They are responding at least as much to the body language of the individual as to their words and tone. They know that they feel “bad” when in the presence of their family or groups. Indigos are usually only aware of all this at a subconscious level. But they are acutely aware of the family conflicts and emotions and it makes them very uncomfortable. Again, they do not understand this sensitivity and the sponge-quality of their emotions. Indigo children sense the unexpressed conflicts and the unexpressed emotions of their parents, siblings and extended families. Harville Hendrix (relationship therapist and author of Getting the Love You Want) says that we choose our life partners (and frequently other significant people in our lives) so that we can heal our wounded-ness that we experienced in the relationships that we had with our significant caretakers. The ability of the Indigo to absorb the emotions around them, leads to special difficulties during family functions. It is actually their ability to sense the emotions of others who are in their proximity. The source of their anxiety and depression may not always be from within, or the intensity of their emotions is not theirs. But much of their anxiety and depression is because they absorb “negative emotions” while in the presence of others. They are prone to anxiety and feelings of sadness due to their discomfort with their environment and their feelings of personal isolation. They are intuitive and pick up the emotions of those around them. Indigos don’t understand their inherent sensitivity. They do not usually understand why, but they know that they wish to avoid environments that include large numbers of people. Though many adolescents will attend concerts, and even mosh pits, they often verbalize that they do not like being in large groups. These characteristics often lead to anxiety and depression. Their ability to understand their world may be greater than other’s their age, but their ability to cope with this awareness is compromised because they have neither the life experience nor the emotional maturation to handle what they know. They are deep thinkers and tend to be bright. They describe themselves as having few friends–or few individuals who truly understand them and think as they do. They frequently verbalize their dislike for (or discomfort with) their school, peers, and/or community. Many are unsuccessful, unmotivated students because of the mismatch of their learning style to the teacher’s style.Īdditionally, they feel alone and misplaced.They are often artistic (music, visual, creative arts).They are frequently diagnosed with, or have the characteristics of, Attention Deficit (Hyperactivity) Disorder.They are frustrated with their outside world because they know how things should be-in institutions, systems and relationships.They are described as ‘ sensitive’ (especially the boys).They seem older than their years in many ways (though some may also seem immature). Indigos do tend to have the following qualities: She lists nearly 20 characteristics, many of which are the qualities that I use for identification.Īs a special educator and educational strategist, I usually meet these children because they do not like school and don’t find themselves prone to academic excellence, but this is not the case for all Indigos. Doreen Virtue in her book, The Care and Feeding of Indigo Children, describes them as having a birth date (typically) after 1978. What’s an Indigo child? There are several books with information regarding this group. I believe I’ve always been drawn to the children that we now call Indigo.
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